Last Part of December
by Vecturist
Summary: In honor of Boxing Day, Dr. Weir organizes a job swap. Some things go well, but when they go badly...whumpage always finds some people.
1. Chapter 1

Last Part of December

A/N: Ok, little bit of holiday fluff. I'm trying to decide if this is a one-shot or could be continued.

There was a small crowd of people sprawled out in the media room, Colonel Sheppard noted as he walked in. Christmas was a couple of weeks away and everyone was excited this year. It was so different from last year: with the Daedalus making regular runs between Earth and Atlantis, and weekly updates from Earth, people weren't feeling so isolated, and the words 'proper celebration' kept being used. He guessed that tomorrow's Daedalus arrival would be more than eagerly greeted, since it would the last before the holiday. For the last few weeks there had been plenty of furtive glances, and much more secretive whispering with nervous glances than usual, all in the spirit of the holiday, he supposed.

"I can't believe the SGC drew the line at shipping us a tree," sighed Katie Brown. Rodney nodded sympathetically.

"I suppose we can simply fly over to the mainland and cut one ourselves. They should have some sort of conifer, right?" he added, pleased with himself for using botanical terms.

Nearby, Lorne snorted, "Oh, I can just see us strapping a tree to the roof of a jumper." A few people nearby laughed at the potential scene,

Rodney frowned. "At least they're sending some mistletoe."

"Now why would they want to send that," asked Katie, in all apparent innocence. She and a few women exchanged devious looks.

"I believe Colonel Sheppard explained," started Teyla before she intercepted a few looks and smiled knowingly herself. Certain members of the expedition were going to find themselves underneath it.

"What were you going to say Teyla," asked Ronon, not quite following.

"I will show you later," she smirked.

"If someone is going to make eggnog, please refrain from using Radek's rotgut this year," began Carson after a moment's silence. "Alcohol poisoning, along with the potential for food poisoning is not a combination I want to treat again. By the way, Kyte said to tell you Colonel, she's got someone to tape all the bowl games. I think she was still a little upset about one of her teams losing in the last two minutes, and missing out."

"Ah yes the joys of college football, the bowl games. I'll have to tell her I owe her one."

She also mentioned something about getting a couple loaves of fruitcake."

"And you said we were out of projectiles for the Chair," interjected Rodney. Sheppard and Lorne laughed for a few minutes thinking of taking out a Wraith hive ship with baked goods.

Carson waited for the laughter to die down. "Well, I've got some shortbread coming, so hopefully this coming year will be luckier. Lord knows, sometimes we could use it." Noting the puzzled looks, he added, "It's good luck for a the first person who crosses your doorway in the new year to bring shortbread.

"There was silence for a few minutes, Finally, Rodney spoke up again. "What about Boxing Day?"

"Boxing Day? I know it's the day after Christmas, but isn't that the day you return unwanted stuff," asked Katie, slightly puzzled.

Rodney bit back his usual sarcastic remark and explained to the mostly puzzled group, "It's traditionally been a day where people tipped the employees underneath them in appreciation. A sort of worker appreciation thing."

"Oh, I think I saw that on an episode of _MASH_ once," exclaimed Sheppard. "Everybody switched jobs for the day."

"That could be an interesting idea," added an amused looking Dr. Weir.

TBC?

A/N: Ok, I wasn't sure if I could continue this, especially since we don't celebrate Boxing Day in the States. However, I will take any comments, suggestions, or offers to help, since I was thinking of writing something along the lines of the _MASH_ episode.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks to all you sent feedback and suggestions. I guess I should add here that Boxing Day is a holiday in Britain, Canada, Australia and New Zealand, occuring the day after Christmas.

"You can't be serious," snorted Rodney.

"Why not," replied Elizabeth with an amused grin as an idea began to take shape. "It will only be for a day. Might end some of the 'I could do a better job' mutterings I've heard every so often. Atlantis, despite being a small place, still has its divisions, you know between the science departments and even the disputes between the civilians and military."

"We've been talking about getting more of the science staff field trained," mused Colonel Sheppard, slowly warming to the idea. "Besides putting the senior staff jobs up for grabs, why not let anyone interested try something different for a day?" he added.

"There is no way I am going to let some overeager lieutenant run the physics lab for a day," protested Rodney.

"I hate to admit it, but he does have a point," added Carson. "I don't like the idea emergencies in the infirmary being dealt with by someone without a medical degree."

"I'm sure anyone can practice voodoo," Rodney snapped back.

"We'll leave a few regular personnel in each department, and if a real emergency occurs, it will be dealt with by the appropriate professionals. You never know, however, how resourceful people are, or what other talents they have," added Elizabeth after a couple moments thought. "Rodney, Carson, your positions will be up for grabs."

"Nobody's going to go for this," muttered Rodney as he stormed out. He was, however, quite wrong, for once. The majority of the staff, both science and military, embraced the idea of Boxing Day, or 'Job Swap Day' as the American dubbed it, enthusiastically.

Dr. Weir announced the rules during a lull in the Christmas festivities. "Ok, the first jar here is general assignments, military, biology, physics, kitchen staff, etc, Everyone's going to draw a job description. After that, I will draw for the senior staff positions, which means my job, and those of Colonel Sheppard, Major Lorne, Dr. McKay, and Dr. Beckett. Those who have the positions of power tomorrow, no abusing it, or at least not too much. Everyone else, you are expected to do your jobs as assigned." She smiled and wished that the Daedalus had remained. She would have like to see someone ordering Caldwell around. People shuffled forward to draw slips of paper. Laughter soon rang out as people determined their fate for the next day.

"What did you draw, Major," asked Colonel Sheppard, staring at the slip of paper labeled 'physics lab.'

"Military, sir," smirked a happy looking Major Lorne. "Don't tell me it's not fair, it's what I drew.

"Looks like I'll be in your company," sighed Carson, showing his matching slip of paper.

"This is totally unfair. I mean this borders on torture. We're talking cruel and unusual," whined Rodney. The small group looked at him. "Infirmary," he sighed. Everyone else just laughed.

"Ok, if I could have your attention again," yelled Dr. Weir. "The moment you've all been waiting for. Your senior staff for the day." Several people pounded on a table, imitating a drumroll. Major Lorne's position: Dr. Katie Brown." Most of the scientists cheered. "

Dr. McKay's position: Dr. Miko Kusanagi." More cheering from the scientists. Rodney just glared in her direction. She pretended not to notice him. "Your new chief medical officer," Dr. Weir continued after everyone quieted down. She stared at the piece of paper. "Ronon Dex." The man in question smirked at a couple people. People started laughing again after a minute.

Rodney whispered to Carson, "I bet no one comes to the infirmary tomorrow."

Carson shrugged. "The man was on the run for seven years, he must know something. Maybe he'll cure you of your hypochondria." Rodney shivered.

"Ok, Colonel Sheppard's position goes to Lt. Cadman," yelled Dr. Weir, who was quickly drowned out by the response. Laura and Katie exchanged high-fives.

"Something tells me with those two in charge, we're going to be shirtless tomorrow," muttered Major Lorne to Carson.

"Can they order that?" asked Carson a little nervously.

It took several minutes for the noise to die down again. "Now what you've all been waiting for, the person occupying my office tomorrow will be…."

"Please don't say Kavanaugh," more than one person hoped.

TBC

Yes, because I can.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

A/N: Ok, I guess I'm ducking tomatoes and other things. Other than writing a couple cliffhangers, I have been good this year, so there is a certain individual or two I wouldn't mind finding under my tree. What? No? C'mon I'll be good next year.

Thanks to Dr. Dredd for a couple ideas I expanded on. Great minds think alike?

It took several minutes for the noise to die down again. "Now what you've all been waiting for, the person occupying my office tomorrow will be…" A hush fell over the mess hall. Dr. Weir looked at the slip of paper, then at the waiting faces, trying to stretch the moment out as much as possible. When she sensed the crowd was ready to mutiny, she announced, "Dr. Radek Zelenka." More than one person let out the breath they had unconsciously been holding and started cheering. Zelenka looked a little surprised at the reception he was getting. He kept pushing his glasses up on his nose and looking around, not quite sure what to make of the situation.

"Great. Just great," muttered Rodney. "How an I supposed to maintain order in the lab after tomorrow? Once Zelenka and Kusanagi get a taste of power, they'll be questioning my every calculation, every decision."

"Maybe you'll get to see what they're truly capable of," said Sheppard good-naturedly, attempting to calm down the dethroned science head, He himself was secretly looking for to a day out of the line of fire, although he was afraid his 'closet geekiness' would get outed.

Rodney, however, refused to be placated. "Can't I swap with someone, I mean come on, the infirmary?"

"I'll see you tomorrow," smirked Ronon, sealing the deal.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dr. Weir, clutching her mug of coffee, hurried towards her office, momentarily forgetting it was not her office today. Oh well, if anyone asked, she could always blame it on breakfast. Who knew until today that Dr. Simpson had spent a year in culinary school? _Although the omelet could have used more onions_, she mused. "_I will definitely have to get 'complete' resumes from everyone_." Dr. Weir was so lost in thought she almost tripped over Colonel Sheppard sprawled out on the floor, head under one of the consoles in the Gate room. Miko Kusanagi was standing nearby looking at the readout on a laptop. Dr. Weir had always found her shy, but intense. Today, however, she appeared to be quite animated and clearly relishing her position.

"Uh Dr. Kusanagi, are you sure there's something wrong here? Everything looks fine here." Colonel Sheppard poked his head out for a moment, his hair messier than usual.

"Looks fine, here too," Miko whispered to the female tech standing next to her. Dr. Weir felt a slight twinge of jealousy. Miko was getting to do what Elizabeth always secretly wanted to do: order John Sheppard around. She took some comfort from the slightly disappointed look on Miko's face; Sheppard was her second choice. "Check again. I'm not sure if the crystals are properly aligned." Sheppard ducked his head back under. Well, Elizabeth was going to enjoy this while she could, she'd drawn 'Gate room' as an assignment.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The infirmary was full of action, mostly the flinching kind. Kavanaugh sat on one of the beds holding a bleeding finger. Apparently he'd been assigned to the kitchen and had been chopping onions for the omelet until he missed, nearly taking off his finger in the process, and clearly required stitches. Now he was alternating between glaring at the 'medical personnel' and howling with pain, most of which ended when Ronon glared back. Rodney himself was squirming at the sight of all the blood, trying not to look, but unable to look away. Carson's 2IC quickly stepped in, this was clearly something for trained medical personnel, but stopped when Dr. Karsch, one of the engineers, laid a hand on his arm.

"I think I can handle this," he said softly with a thick German accent. Rodney nearly fainted

"What?" sputtered Kavanaugh, who was about to protest the obvious malpractice, when a look from Ronon stopped him midwhine. The look said, 'A real man would have stitched up the wound himself, even if he'd have to fashion the sutures himself.'

Dr. Karsch quickly irrigated the wound and injected lidocaine. Kavanaugh didn't even protest after another look from Ronon, which said, 'Anesthetic? For a tiny cut? You heard what Dr. Beckett took out of my back, and I didn't need it.' The wound was quickly sutured, and even Carson would have been proud of the job the engineer did.

"How? Where?" asked Carson's 2IC.

"Mandatory service. Every man had to spend a year in the military after high school in Germany. I was a conscientious objector and spent two years in civil defense as an EMT. Learned all sorts of things, never thought I'd put them to use, until today."

Yes, today was going to be an interesting day.

TBC

A/N: Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about Carson and Lorne. There will be more.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

A/N: Sorry to keep everyone waiting.

While Dr. Weir and Miko were admiring the view in the Gate Room, those personnel who had drawn 'military' assignments were assembling in one of the large rooms designated as gym space. Lt. Cadman and Dr. Katie Brown were standing near the front of the room.

'Oh bloody hell," whispered Carson to Major Lorne, when he noticed how both women were grinning. He wished he simply could have stayed in the infirmary, even if he did have to supervise Rodney all day. Heck, he'd even put with a couple escape attempts from the Colonel. The thought of what was going on in his absence was enough to further knot his stomach. Major Lorne simply smiled and shrugged at the fuming Scotsman. He was military, he'd had a lot of things thrown at him over the years, through training and the like.

Lt. Cadman whistled to get everyone's attention. "Ok folks, listen up. Physical fitness is important, and I think some of you have neglected your workout routines since coming here. So we're going to be doing some basic calisthenics and a short run." Several people groaned. "I'd like to know what I have to work with, so everyone, shirts off." Many more groans, mostly male echoed throughout the hall. In the next few moments there was plenty of furtive glances, as people began checking each other out.

"Cadman is going to catch it tomorrow, if I have anything to say," muttered Major Lorne, tossing his shirt aside.

"I think Dr. Weir said any reasonable orders would be tolerated," mumbled Carson, a little self-consciously. "However, I think we missed the memo," he added. The women in the room were wearing either tank tops or stand-alone sports bras, much to the disappointment of several men. For most of the population, the room suddenly gotten warmer, as upper physiques were bared, and various, usually hidden, tattoos were now on display. Carson had seen most of the room's occupants in various stages of undress before under medical circumstances, but he was sure that more than one person was a little embarrassed about having Taz or other symbols suddenly public. A few people seemed totally unfazed by the situation, mostly military, but some of the science personnel as well. "Jocks," muttered Carson under his breath.

"Wanna make something of it?" asked a familiar voice behind him. He turned around and grinned. Standing behind him was Dr. Kyte Randall, his present girlfriend who happened to be an avid runner and surfer, as well as one of those not embarrassed about her physique. Carson was trying to think of a retort, when Cadman and Brown called the group back to attention.

"Okay, we're going to start with some simple stretches," said Dr. Brown demonstrating. Over the next ninety minutes everyone stretched and went through the basic boot camp drills, such as jumping jacks and pushups. Lorne nodded approvingly when Cadman managed to coax a few more reps out of certain people and kept the complaining to a minimum with her all knowing glare. It was almost impossible to hate the two women, they were obviously having fun, maybe a little too much fun.

"Listen up folks, we haven't forgotten the run," continued Lt. Cadman after counting down the last set. "We'll split into two groups, the first group will be led by me and we'll be doing three miles at a fast clip. Those who don't feel up to the challenge can do two with Dr. Brown." There were complaints from a few people. "Want to make it three for everyone," Laura challenged.

"Better not," piped up one of the scientists. "Ronon and Dr. McKay are staffing the infirmary. Who knows how they'll deal with some strained muscles?" More groaning ensued.

"Good point. Know your limits and while I expect you to complete the full distance, don't hurt yourself. We'll be heading to the central part of the city and back. Afterwards, I think we can divide into teams and do a little off-world practice recon." At this several scientists perked up; they'd never been off-world.

Carson just grimaced at the thought. "Today can't get any worse," he muttered, as fell in behind Dr. Brown's larger group. To be fair she took it slow and easy, but there was an audience awaiting them in the central part of the city. Lt. Cadman's group seemed to take the cheering and whistling well, but quite a few people turned red, Carson included.

"That was interesting," remarked Colonel Sheppard as he took a break from checking yet another console.

"I heard that Lt. Cadman and Dr. Brown want to take a couple groups off-world," commented Dr. Weir, next to him.

"You approved that?" he asked.

"I didn't, but Dr. Zelenka did. I think all the planets are one ones you and your team have previously explored, and deemed as uninhabited, so there should be no problem, right?"

"I have a funny feeling about this," he replied, voice muffled by the next console he was underneath.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Last part of December: Chapter 5

A/N: Yes, I know, we're into the New Year, so I hope everyone had great holidays. There will be some whumping in the next few chapters – I know you were all waiting, couldn't just enjoy the scenery. Small warning – I'm borrowing a character from an upcoming episode, but I don't think it should matter.

Carson slowly made it back to the gym area with the rest of Dr. Brown's group. He knew after that little stunt, more than a few people would be taking up exercise programs as New Year's resolutions. Unfortunately, for him and his staff it meant several weeks of treating sprains and strains of those individuals who decided to "overdo" it. Didn't anyone check with a physician first? He started to grumble to himself when he saw Dr. Randall stretching, the small tattoo on her lower back visible. He'd asked her about it once or twice, she'd never answered why she had a playing card, the queen of diamonds, inked onto her skin. Before they could engage in small talk, Lt. Cadman called for everyone's attention.

'Okay people, we're going to be going out in groups of eight, first group moving out in thirty minutes, then in ten minute increments afterwards. The planets we're gating to have been classified as uninhabited, so there shouldn't be any hostile natives to confront, during the few hours we're off-world. Although I know we are swapping positions today, there will be at least one individual from the military in each group just in case." In short order, Carson found himself on the same team as Lt. Cadman, Major Lorne, Dr. Brown, Dr. Parrish, Dr. James Hudson from geology, Lt. Bond, and Dr. Randall. He couldn't be totally sure, but he wondered how much of this had been 'random.' He certainly wouldn't complain about being on the same team as Kyte, and he wondered if Laura was going to use this as an opportunity to show Lorne her leadership skills. "I'll see you in the gate room in half an hour, guys, give you a chance a chance to clean up and gear up," she called to her 'team'

When he arrived in the gateroom twenty-seven minutes later, Carson felt odd without his usual medical kit, although he took some comfort from grabbing an extra field first aid kit. Major Lorne and Lts. Bond and Cadman were checking their P-90s, while nearby Dr. Randall checked her 9 mil. He initially refused the weapon offered to him, then changed mind, deciding to play along with the job swap. He wasn't thrilled with stepping through the gate, but if the planet was uninhabited, nothing could go wrong, right? Dr. Brown and Dr. Hudson looked excited; they hadn't been off-world before, Dr. Parrish looked slightly nervous, finding a dead Wraith on your first excursion off-world might do that. None of them carried weapons.

Nearby, Colonel Sheppard watched with a mixture of jealousy and relief. Usually he was the one leading teams through the Gate, and more often than not, into trouble, and the resulting trips to the infirmary. He could really stand a day off from all that, but something in his being still rebelled against being stuck under consoles all day.

Dr. Zelenka had appeared from Elizabeth's office. "Good luck and have fun," he told the group. "Dial the gate," he added, with obvious delight. Nearby, Dr. Weir entered the coordinates for MSX-173.

The first thing Carson noticed when he stepped through the gate was the heat and lack of humidity. The planet they had dialed appeared to be one large rock-strewn, wind-swept desert. Not his first choice of places to visit. Dr. Hudson, on the other hand, was excited.

"This place looks like Moab. Look at those mountains. I'd love to come back here with my climbing gear," he exclaimed, having discovered a new potential playground, oblivious to the head shakings of his companions. Apparently he was the only enthusiast.

"Did anyone bring sunblock?" asked Carson, noting the glaring sun and lack of clouds. Katie Brown quickly nodded.

"It's not that stuff of Rodney's, is it," grumbled Major Lorne. Katie pretended to pout for a moment before shaking her head. She knew everyone was well aware of his 'eccentricities,' for lack of a better term. Everyone spent a few minutes slathering exposed body parts to Carson's satisfaction before heading out from the gate's platform area.

"We have a few hours here. I suggest we check out the caves in that rock formation over there," Laura gestured with her P-90. "The initial survey didn't reveal anything, but who knows," she added with a shrug.

"Not like we have any place to be," mumbled Dr. Parrish under his breath, scanning the horizon for plant life, which seemed to be non-existent.

Carson fell into beside Dr. Randall. She, like Lt. Bond, seemed to appreciate simply being outside. He intruded on their conversation of the love of things that went fast: Kyte's being motorcycles and the young lieutenant's being planes and choppers. Lt. Bond was quite in awe of Colonel Sheppard, and like all pilots was developing an appreciation for the puddlejumper. "So, what did you bribe Laura with for this assignment?"

Kyte looked at him for a moment, innocence and pretended offense warring across her face. "I didn't bribe Laura. The teams were her decision. I did, however, swap assignments with Kavanaugh."

"How?"

"You know the two tins of cookies my mom sent? I gave him half of one." She saw the distraught look on Carson's face. "Relax, He originally wanted an entire container but I talked him down. Told him he didn't want anything to do with potential live fire exercises." She grinned wickedly. "I also figured he'd be more useless than me in the kitchen, probably hurt himself before he could poison anyone."

Carson nodded in appreciation. Half of Atlantis' population with food poisoning would not be pleasant. Picking shrapnel out of the annoying scientist would be a close second.

The group had reached the first set of stone overhangs near the caves, when the ground suddenly shook violently. Inexperience mixed with the need for survival and machismo was a poor combination as rocks began raining down and people jostled each other, trying to escape and protect themselves and others. A few seconds later, Carson surveyed the damage. Lt. Cadman, Dr. Brown, and Dr. Hudson were ok. Dr. Parrish had a few bruises, and Dr. Randall was a little pale, but otherwise looked fine. Carson had twisted an ankle, but Lt. Bond and Major Lorne had the taken the brunt of the damage. Both had numerous cuts and bruises, but the thing that concerned him the most was the Major's leg, the bone was poking through cloth and skin at a most unnatural angle, and no one needed a medical degree to know that the situation was serious. Dr. Hudson immediately volunteered to head back to the Stargate to send for help. As he left, Dr. Brown began helping Carson dress wounds, as Lt. Cadman and Dr. Parrish sacrificed their shirts for additional bandages, before insisting Carson immobilize his ankle. Dr. Randall remained outside, surveying the horizon, and avoiding Carson's questions.

Dr. Hudson was back shortly, alone, frustration clearly written across his features. "I don't know why, I can't dial out. Hopefully they can dial in, or send a jumper because we're stuck."

Lt. Cadman looked at everyone nervously. We're not supposed to be back for a few hours. With the situation today, who knows how soon they'll come looking for us. We're going to have to get comfortable, get a fire going somehow. Something tells me this place will cool off when the sun drops."

As if on cue, the first streaks of a brilliant sunset appeared a few moments later.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Last Part of December: Chapter 6

A/N: Thanks to everyone for all their great comments and patience who have been waiting for this. I had some of this story sketched out before the mine collapse in West Virginia and I decided to rework a few things out of sensitivity. I'm visiting family in CA over the next few days, so I figure with all the travel time I can finish this up, along with a few other things.

Dr. Hudson surveyed the landscape as the sky began to gradually darken and shook his head, he'd have to get used to the variations in day length out here. Right now he felt slightly disoriented – it was mid morning in Atlantis, but here on MSX-173 evening was approaching – talk about your cosmic time zones and jet lag. "Dr. Beckett, do you think we can move Major Lorne? I think we'd be better off in one of those caves, rather than out in the open."

"If they're safe, I agree with you. I don't want to get trapped if there's another earthquake," added Lt. Cadman a little nervously

He studied the first cave carefully as Laura looked over his shoulder and surveyed the defense-worthiness of the position. "We should be safe in here. If we get a fire going, the rocks should retain some of the heat. I'm guessing that this planet will cool off pretty quickly."

Carson nodded, not wanting to add hypothermia to the list of injuries already racked up in the last few minutes, "We should be able to move the Major if we're careful. I don't like doing this, but it's probably worse to be out in the open. We've got to make the best of a bad situation. Major, bear with us, this may not be easy." Dr. Parrish and Dr. Hudson settled for carrying Lorne the relatively short distance to the cave, the major gritting his teeth at the pain from his broken leg, now partially immobilized with donated shirts. There were no branches in the immediate area to construct a litter. Dr. Brown supported Lt. Bond, who also wincing in pain. Carson knew the young lieutenant had a few broken ribs to go with his cuts and bruises and was afraid of internal bleeding. He himself wasn't in much better shape, leaning on Dr. Randall for support, knowing that his ankle was beginning to swell. He could hear her heart beating rapidly and she was muttering something in Latin.

"Thanks lass," he panted as the she helped him settle against a wall of the cave. "What were you just whispering?"

"The Prayer of Saint Barbara," she answered, heading back to the entrance of the cave with Katie. He quirked an eyebrow at her, which she ignored. They'd been going out for a few months, but this was the first time she mentioned anything of a religious nature.

Lt. Bond must have caught his quizzical look, because he answered, "patron saint of miners," after the women had left, then shrugged. "I went to parochial school for a few years. Some stuff stays with you." Carson could have wanted to smack himself, he'd forgotten momentarily Kyte was from a mining town: the fear of being buried alive very real and understandable. The earlier earthquake and rockslide had probably shaken her up in more ways than one.

Lt. Cadman stood outside the mouth of the cave and tried to take stock of the situation. This was supposed to be a nice boring expedition, a quick daytrip. Instead, they were cut off from Atlantis and she had managed to get both one of her fellow crewmen and her commanding officer hurt. To add insult to injury, the scientists she brought along had apparently decided to scatter to the four winds. Or maybe not. She heard them before she saw them, voices ringing out across the mesas as they tried to one-up each other with stories of collecting trips and extreme conditions. Apparently Dr. Parrish was winning- he'd actually done fieldwork at Palmer Research Station in Antarctica. All of them appeared to be carrying brush and small pieces of wood, except Katie; she held a couple very prickly-looking plants. Laura smiled. She might have to lecture them about running off without an escort, but they all appeared to know how to survive in a remote area. She wondered if certain members of the chemistry and physics departments would be quite so adept.

Major Lorne even nodded in approval once everyone was back inside the cave and the fire was quickly started. "These plants are succulents," explained Dr. Brown. "If you peel back the skin, they can be chewed for moisture. Not much nutritional value though," she shook her head.

"Aye, lass, but that's all right, I'd rather be back in the infirmary myself, but we'll manage a little longer," he reassured her, trying to hide his fear that certain injuries could worsen. Major Lorne and Lt. Bond certainly needed medical treatment, but they were stable for the moment.

Lt. Cadman added. We'll only be here a day at the most. We've got fire, we've got water. What else is there to worry about? I suggest we all relax the best we can and watch the sunset." Everyone tried to get comfortable against the hard stone, hoping she was right.

Back in the infirmary, Dr. Rodney McKay watched Ronon pace. The phrase 'caged tiger' sprung to mind. Except for Kavanaugh, the place had been quiet and Rodney was beginning to think that Carson had lied about a few things, like how busy he was. For all he knew the Scotsman was writing a novel in his spare time, or worse, playing Solitaire on his laptop.. Finally, probably fearing that Ronon would wear a groove in the floor, Carson's 2IC suggested since they were repeatedly getting injured in the field, or at least a particular Colonel was, they should learn a few first aid techniques. At first, Ronon appeared ready to refuse, then reconsidered. After all, he had attempted to cut a Wraith tracking device out of his back and there was something to be said for useful skills if he was ever on the run again. Rodney, however, simply laughed.

"Me, learn voodoo? Pity, I didn't bring my shrunken heads and eye of newt with me to this galaxy. You've got to be…" He stopped when he caught Ronon eyeing him with a particularly wolfish look.

"Can I practice with him?" he asked simply.

Rodney promptly fainted, or as he would put it, collapsed in a manly fashion. He awoke several minutes later, finding an arm and a leg securely splinted, "This is not funny," he bellowed, much to everyone's amusement. He'd pay them back, if he could just figure out how…

Suddenly various earpieces crackled. "We have a medical emergency in the gateroom," came Dr. Weir's voice. Ronon froze, then realized that meant him. He and various personnel headed out.

"Hey, you're holding me against my will. This is torture," sputtered Rodney to the retreating figures, trying to free himself.

TBC

A/N: Given Dr. Parrish's comments in 'Runner' I figured he might have spent time at Palmer studying the effects of the ozone hole on plant life like a couple of my classmates have. I should also add most of my biology classmates are pretty gung-ho outdoors types either by choice or from fieldwork.


	7. Chapter 7

Last Part of December: Chapter 7

The scene in the gateroom was quite familiar for most of the personnel involved, even if the circumstances were somewhat altered. Colonel Sheppard sat on the floor, looking somewhat dazed, displaying a soon to be darkening forehead bruise, a few small cuts, and rubbing his left arm. Both Dr. Weir and Miko hovered nearby, somewhat worriedly. The regular medical personnel exchanged knowing looks. Bets as usual had been laid: one of the constants of the Pegasus galaxy appeared to be injury finding a certain spiky-haired Colonel. Today appeared to be no exception.

Sheppard himself saw the looks exchanged, and shook his head. Sometimes he wondered how much of an economy his misadventures supported, and if it wasn't for him, would there be a thriving black market for certain items; instead they were collateral. The Sheppard economy, he mused, trying to dredge up the relevant topics he'd covered in his math classes. Actually if someone wanted to do an economic study in Atlantis, valid topics could be the number of coffee-producing countries Rodney supported with daily consumption – actually there were days he wondered what was more essential – a regular supply of coffee or a functioning ZPM. One could also attempt to calculate Dr. Beckett's net worth if he had a nickel every time Colonel Sheppard landed in the infirmary.

"What happened?" demanded Ronon gruffly, warming to the medical role, and interrupting the Colonel's reverie.

"He hit his head and nearly electrocuted himself while checking one of the consoles," supplied Miko quickly, looking at the Colonel with a mixture of guilt and sympathy.

"I'm fine," Colonel Sheppard. "Where's Rodney? I thought he was with you guys?" he attempted to shrug off the ministrations of various personnel.

"He's a bit tied up at the moment," grinned Ronon. "You know the rules Sheppard, infirmary now."

"I'll accompany him," volunteered Miko, hoping to catch a glimpse of her (not so secret) beloved.

Colonel Sheppard tried to protest, but realized from the look on Ronon's face the Satedan would probably carry him. He sighed and settled for muttering about people power-tripping. Hopefully Beckett didn't hear all the details: the Colonel knew Ronon felt that he still owed the Scotsman a debt, but the last thing he needed was Ronon relishing his time running the infirmary and the doctor taking advantage of that.

Luckily for the Colonel, the lunch concocted by Dr. Simpson soon displaced his latest injuries as the topic of conversation. While Dr. McKay grudgingly respected her skills in the physics lab, the rest of Atlantis was gaining a new appreciation for her culinary skills. Rodney did make a mental note that she be included in any future expeditions requiring extended time off world, hopefully she could do something with the MREs. Dr. Weir was trying to find a polite way to approach her and suggest she spend more time in the kitchen without insulting her skills as an engineer, and, more importantly, without aggravating the regular staff. You simply could not tell a world-renown engineer she needed to give up her research and spend more time in the kitchen. Actually, mused Dr. Weir, maybe she'd "hint" to Kavanaugh to make that suggestion, picturing a couple possible reactions.

Most of the off-world teams had begun returning and were quickly cleared by medical, to everyone's relief. A few bumps and bruises, nothing too serious, although Dr. Weir thought she detected a new appreciation for the role of military in Atlantis, and conversely, an understanding that most of the civilian personnel were tougher than they looked and could survive outside their research labs. She mused that it would be interesting to see what transpired in the coming weeks. She imagined more than a few personnel would at least begin the training necessary for off-world missions. Colonel Sheppard and Major Lorne might find themselves with more than a few requests for weapons training. It remained to be seen: she could see some decisions going the way of New Year's resolutions, forgotten or ignored by mid-January.

Hearing Miko "correcting" someone in the lab (she had picked up a few things from Rodney, judging from her tone), Dr. Weir idly wondered where Colonel Sheppard was, since he had not re-appeared in the gateroom and she hadn't heard of any explosions in the science lab. He was, however, in an unlikely place: the infirmary. The Colonel and a now-freed Dr. McKay were seated on two of the beds, playing a fast-paced game of gin rummy. Ronon watched, slightly bored.

"I thought Miko would have you back in one of the science labs," she lectured, startling the two card players. "You don't seem to be getting in the spirit of the day."

The Colonel smiled at her unintentional double entendre. "I figured I'd make Zelenka's pool more interesting, hanging out here for the day. Besides, you left your post," he scolded, before McKay could interrupt about his ongoing torture.

"You're right, this is a little odd, swapping roles for the day," she started to explain. "Everyone's back from off-world, so things are a little slow. Well, almost everyone's back, except Lt. Cadman's group. I'm a little concerned, but with Lt. Bond and Major Lorne in that group, they should be more than capable of handling themselves."

"Where'd they gate to?" asked Sheppard. "As far as I know, every place on the list was uninhabited."

"MSX-173. Nothing there except rock formations, maybe a few plants. Strange day/night cycle, according to MALP telemetry. What is it Ronon," she finished, noticing the man stiffen.

"You have pictures from the … MALP?" he struggled for the correct terminology.

"Yes, why,"

"I have heard descriptions of a planet, similar to this. I hope it is not the one they went to. The planet suffers regular earth quakings. The gate does not always work. The Wraith know this, they will regularly fly in, see if anyone has been caught. A quick hunt." While Ronon was explaining, Dr. Weir accessed one of the terminals and pulled up the relevant files. He nodded, much to her dismay. "I believe that is the planet."

Colonel Sheppard immediately grabbed his radio. "I'm afraid we're going to have to override Dr. Zelenka's command on this, not that he wouldn't agree. I need a couple teams, regardless of what they're supposed to be doing, also a medical team. We'll take a couple jumpers. McKay, I need a list of nearby gates, in case we can't gate in, or more likely can't gate out. That's what I'm assuming has happened."

Dr. Weir was slightly stunned as Sheppard sprung into military mode, calling for various personnel to meet him in the jumper bay in fifteen. Nearby medical personnel began grabbing gear. Dr. McKay also grabbed his radio and headed for the door.

"I'm going with you, Katie's in that group." Ronon and Sheppard both nodded quickly, they both knew better than to try and argue once the Canadian's mind was made up. Besides, whoever said chivalry was dead?

TBC

A/N: There will definitely be some whumpage to follow.


	8. Chapter 8

Last Part of December: Chapter 8

The scene inside the jumper bay could be politely described as organized chaos. Various military personnel rushed in, loading weapons into two of the jumpers as medical figures scrambled around them, obviously prepared for a worst-case scenario. Colonel Sheppard stood off to the side, trying to take a quick inventory. A long sleeve T-shirt and his jacket hid his bandaged arm – there was no way he wasn't going on this mission. He kept expecting to see Teyla dashing in, forgetting that she had decided to visit the mainland today. At first, he wished he'd also asked for the day off when he heard Elizabeth's plans, but now he wished she were here.

"Hello, did you have empty out half the armory? Were you planning on throwing in a kitchen sink as well?"

"Glad to see you made it, Rodney. No, I don't think there's room for a sink, but we have no idea what we could be going up against. However, like they said in the boy scouts, 'be prepared.'"

"Colonel, somehow I doubt you were ever a boy scout," Rodney snorted.

"Rodney, the things you don't know about me, would amaze even you," Sheppard started, when he noticed Dr. Weirs and Zelenka enter the room. Both looked extremely concerned, and not by the action swirling around them. "I take it we have a go?"

"Yes," they both responded, and Dr. Zelenka looked at Dr. Weir a little sheepishly.

"Sorry," the Czech apologized, pushing up his glasses. Dr. Weir and Colonel Sheppard could see the unease in his eyes: the weight of leadership, ordering people into a potentially dangerous situation, was never easy and the physicist had just gotten his first taste of it. "Here," he added after a moment's pause, handing a laptop to Rodney, "I suggest, if the planet is as Ronon suspects, we disable Gate, no more rabbit snares for Wraith to check," he finished, retreating to a safer topic.

"Thanks, wouldn't be a bad idea," said the Colonel looking over Rodney's shoulder. "I'm assuming this involves more than pulling a few crystals?"

"C4."

"Ah, your kind of solution, Colonel," sniped Rodney.

The Colonel grinned for a moment. "Ok, let's head 'em up and move'em out."

"Heaven help us if he starts singing 'Rawhide,'" Rodney sighed.

"What's Rawhide," asked Ronon. McKay sighed again.

X

Carson awoke with a start, momentarily forgetting where he was and amazed he'd managed a few hours sleep. Dr. Randall and Dr. Brown were asleep on either side of him, briefly reminding him of his grandmum and her cats. He smiled at the sight; the next time Rodney made sheep jokes, he could simply point out he'd spent a night with his girlfriend off world. He tried to extricate himself, but the women stirred as he struggled to get up. Dr. Katie Brown was many things, but she was definitely not graceful getting up. Carson winced and bit back a curse as her foot contacted his twisted ankle. Ronon would have been proud, had this been one of his classes.

Oh, are you ok" she blushed, immediately realizing what had happened.

"Don't worry lass, I don't think you did any more damage," he fibbed, trying to reassure her. There was nothing anyone could do here, anyhow. He slowly eased himself up the cave wall.

"Are you sure," echoed Dr. Randall, concern in her voice. "Shouldn't you be sitting down? I can take a look…"

No, love, I'll be fine. Check and see if Laura needs anything, maybe you could see if there's a water source? I need to make sure Lt. Bond and Major Lorne's wounds are clean." She nodded, stretched on tiptoes, and gave him a quick kiss, before walking over to Lt. Cadman who had been silently watching the entire time. Kyte felt slightly guilty, realizing the lieutenant had been keeping watch alone the last few hours. Katie followed.

"Obviously, we won't go far, just to scout out the area, maybe bring back some more firewood, and some of those plants," Dr. Brown started. Kyte nodded and thumbed her 9mil loose from its holster, although she doubted any large animal could survive in this terrain.

"Should we wake them," Katie's head bobbed in the direction of the rest of their party, all asleep. Carson was slowly heading over to Lt. Bond and Major Lorne, his face a mixture of concern and relief at the still forms.

"Men," Laura muttered softly. "Whoever said women were the weaker sex."

"They never dealt with a day after Christmas sale," added Dr. Brown. "Talk about hunting and gathering…"

"Present awake company excepted, apologized Dr. Randall, seeing Carson looking at them. He shook his head.

Drs. Brown and Randall were back a short time later with a few more plants and some additional firewood. The search for water had been unsuccessful and had sparked a discussion about how drought resistant the local flora was and if there was a way to gauge the rainfall. Their find though, was a bowl-like rock, now perched in a corner of the fire. A canteen of water had been sacrificed and was now boiling for Dr. Beckett's use to clean Lt. Bond and Major Lorne's wounds. He was extremely worried in the Major's case, the bone needed to repositioned and set, and there was a rapidly increasing risk of infection the longer they were on the planet. The women resorted to small talk to cover their own growing nervousness.

"So Katie, just how many power bars did Rodney get yesterday?" asked Laura. There had been, of course, presents from family back on Earth, but there had also been an exchange of small gifts among the residents of Atlantis.

"II wish I'd grabbed a few. I think he got at least one from everyone. I'm not sure if everyone's simply concerned, or," Katie seemed unable to finish her thought that Rodney was usually quieter when eating. "Well, we know who to borrow hair product from, right?"

"You'd think Colonel Sheppard would simply 'fess up to what he uses. He's got more than a few secrets. Still, the look on his face, when he realized he was better supplied than most salons was priceless," finished Dr. Randall.

"Are you girls just going to gossip, or have you started breakfast?" interrupted Dr. Hudson. Dr. Parrish grinned behind him. The three women rolled their eyes.

"We would have, but apparently you guys didn't get the message to stop and pick up groceries on the way home," quipped Katie in her best 'mom' tone.

"Yeah, and Starbucks hasn't found this place yet," added Dr. Randall. Everyone laughed. The conversation drifted to next week's New Year's party and then the early plans for the Super Bowl festivities.

"I'll have to see if I can get my friend send his Defcon wings for the party. They should come with a warning and health waiver," started Dr. Hudson.

"I think I know what you mean, my brother makes some he labels as Texas Thermonuclear Hot. A couple of those and there's no way you can catch a cold for a month," one-upped Dr. Parrish.

"I just want to be there when Colonel Sheppard tries to explain buffalo wings to Ronon," added Dr. Randall. Several people looked at her momentarily, before they chorused, "But buffaloes don't have wings," one of the immortal phrases of a certain blonde. Even Major Lorne and Lt. Bond laughed, which seemed a good sign. Kyte looked over at Dr. Beckett trying to tend his patients as best he could, he face creased by concern and sympathy. She wondered about him sometimes, the man wore his heart on his sleeve. Given all that had happened in Atlantis, a weaker man would have given up, a wiser man would have retreated, and a harder man would have become cynical. Yet Carson seemed beyond all of this, and it touched her on some emotional level, usually pride in his abilities, although every once in awhile frustration, at not seeing the 'forest for the trees.' Of course his 'heart on sleeve" look also occasionally made her want to do certain other things, usually preceded by a trail of clothing on the floor. Her reverie was broken by a nudge; off in the distance, the Stargate was activating. Everyone seemed to perk up, like a group of merkats.

"Oh hell" swore Lt. Cadman as the first of half a dozen Wraith darts flew in.

"Do you think their beams can penetrate the rock," asked Dr. Parrish nervously.

"I think they have other plans," swore Lt. Cadman as the Darts appeared to land. "I think they're hunting on foot."

"I didn't plan to play 'most dangerous game,' added Dr. Brown. "Worst case, they find us and kill us."

"No, worse case they find out Atlantis is still intact, before they kill us," rasped Major Lorne, reminding them suddenly of their predicament. Limited weapons, two injured military, and several scared scientists who normally didn't venture off world. "Dr. Randall, take my P90. I've seen you at the range, you're not half bad. You and Lt. Cadman can split the ammo Lt. Bond has," lectured Major Lorne. There was an odd note in his voice, a mixture of resignation and wounded pride. He had failed, both in his military duties and in being a man; he couldn't even pretend to protect those in his care, and that didn't sit easily with him. He had to trust two young women, one a civilian with six other lives. He guessed that Lt. Bond felt the same way.

"Are you sure this is a good idea," questioned Dr. Parrish, indicating Dr. Randall as she double-checked the weapon and stashed the additional clips.

"I used to go hunting regularly," snapped Dr. Randall with a strained note. Carson could see her recollect something for a moment, something painful, before pushing it aside, like something to be crumpled up and thrown in a drawer. He didn't think she was talking about shooting clays.

"We'll try to pick them off, lead them away from our position here," stated Lt. Cadman, hesitating slightly. You still have a couple 9mils, if we don't succeed, she finished grimly, before pausing. "I'm sorry, as they say, 'the best laid plans of mice and men.'"

"Often go astray," finished Carson. He didn't want to add the next line: 'And leave us nothing but grief and pain for promised joy.'

"Hey," added Major Lorne with forced cheerfulness, "They're on foot, we have weapons, we'll manage. "Let's be careful out there." Lt. Cadman started walking towards the cave's entrance. Dr. Randall followed, after giving Carson a quick kiss.

"Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast," Kyte added at the mouth of the cave. The two women scrambled for positions above and away from the cave, hoping the Wraith didn't venture that direction first.

The first shots seemed to catch the Wraith by surprise, and the two women were able to take down two of their number quickly, before the Wraith began separating.

"Hell," Lt. Cadman swore, trying to fire at retreating figures. "Knew it couldn't be easy." At least the Wraith appeared lightly armed, no stunners were in view, but that was small consolation. They were fighting an enemy that didn't need weapons to kill. She shifted position to get a better shot.

Kyte was nearby, lying flat, butt of the P90 tucked into her shoulder to keep the gun steady. Despite time on the range, she still wasn't totally comfortable with the gun or firing multiple rounds at a time. She cursed under her breath as shots either missed or appeared ineffective. She finally downed a second target, wincing at the bruise she'd be sporting for a few days from the recoil, but it was a small price to pay if they survived. She heard a small cheer from above and assumed Lt. Cadman also finished off a target. By now though, both women assumed the remaining Wraith had realized they were facing an enemy with some firepower and were probably changing tactics. Despite the circumstances, though the Wraith were still the predators. Their prey had a limited supply of ammunition. They could afford to be patient and stalk. Both women changed positions, trying to find new perches to control the situation. Both were running low on ammo. Lt. Cadman realized sadly that it all came down to a question of math, how many Wraiths, how many bullets. Even Rodney couldn't fault that equation. Unfortunately, for them, it was not balanced.

TBC

A/N: A quick note on quotes:

"Let's be careful…" Hill Street Blues

"Smoke me a kipper…" Red Dwarf (alternate reality Rimmer)

"The best laid plans…" and "Often go astray…" In honor of Burns night, a little while ago, these are lines from the immortal poem, _To A Mouse_. Sorry for you purists, I've paraphrased them into modern English.

Oh, and the buffalo wings comment? Do I really need to explain it?


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Last Part of December

A/N: Sorry for the delay, school's keeping me busy, and I've started two other pieces, which I'm going to try to complete before posting, so as not to lose the thread, And yes I know I have some stuff unfinished, as well. Oh and I didn't have any look with the Powerball drawing.

Carson knelt by the two injured men, trying to put as little weight as possible on his battered ankle, and tried to keep the feelings of helplessness at bay. He had two seriously injured men before him, and he'd just seen two women he cared deeply about leave to fend off the Wraith. The pacing audience nearby didn't help much either; he'd shrugged off all offers of help.

"Relax, Doc," rasped Major Lorne, with perhaps more force than necessary. "Give them some credit, they know what they're doing."

Carson turned to face Lorne, skepticism plainly written across his face. How could the Major be taking this so calmly? The man was clearly in pain, and beginning to sweat, not from the rising temperature, but in the early stages of a serious infection. Surely this could be chalked up to delusion.

"Lt. Cadman's a trained soldier, she knows what she signed up for," he attempted to explain, then seeing the other question in Carson's eyes, he continued, "Kyte can be very skilled at hunting, when motivated." The question still remained on the physician's face. "I see Kyte still picks and chooses what she shares. You may be pretty observant, Doc, but sometimes the little details of someone's personality escapes you. Ask her sometime why she never eats jello. No, she's not bribing Dr. McKay, though that's a pretty good side benefit. There's a couple other things she'll avoid too." He lapsed back into silence, a guilty look on his face; as if he'd just revealed someone's poker tell.

The physician shook his head. Dr. Randall, like many members of the Atlantis crew, could be quite chameleonic when she wanted, showing shades of personality depending on whom she was with, never quite letting one see the whole picture. She had an interesting friendship with Lorne, never interfering in his romantic life. Carson just wondered what secrets she chose to share with Marcus, rather than him. More importantly, he hoped there would be time, to find them out. Hopefully, Zelenka or Weir had determined they'd been gone long enough and sent a puddlejumper. He'd even fly the daft thing, if it came down to it. Hell, if he made it back to Atlantis, he might even give Schwartz and the other doctors a break. Well, maybe that was promising too much.

X

Out on the mesa, Lt. Cadman and Dr. Randall surveyed the terrain with practiced eyes. Time to find an advantageous spot and wait. Neither was comfortable to be classified as prey; they were still predators, looking for the upper hand. "If only they didn't have wounded team members," they both thought, wishing for more weapons, more people. Laura decided they should continue to stay split up, although within range, provide two targets for the remaining Wraith. She couldn't help but think of all the nature videos she'd seen in grade school, of the mother bird trying to lead any potential predators away from the nest. That was a humorous vision; Major Lorne and the others weren't helpless hatchlings, usually. Still that's what they were trying to do: kill the Wraith before they discovered they weren't alone. It wasn't a matter of if they'd be found; it was simply a matter of when.

Kyte rested on haunches, surveying around her. _Just breathe_, she told herself, _it's like all those hunting trips when you were younger. But the stakes are a little higher, that little voice nagged, even more so than that one winter_. She tried to push the images out of her mind, but somehow, they slipped through the carefully constructed barriers. She forced the memories back and concentrated on the task at hand. She knew that the two of them were running low on ammo, but with a little luck and patience they might win this. Not might. They had to.

Lt. Cadman might have been thinking the same thought, until she saw the gate activate again. An additional four Wraith on foot came through, though she couldn't tell if they were from the same faction. It probably didn't matter – the Wraith would most likely see if there was any food in the vicinity and then get territorial. "So much for the secret elephant playgrounds," she muttered. The best the two women could hope for was to take out as many as possible, convincing the remaining Wraith they were the only humans, and hope a team from Atlantis could send a rescue party. "Oh hell, she muttered again, seeing two figures skittering across the rocks. Dr. Brown and Dr. Parrish had decided, somewhat misguidedly, to help out.

Dr. Randall had also noticed, and the two women moved to intercept the newcomers, trying not to attract attention.

"You couldn't sit tight and wait," asked Lt. Cadman, her tone indicating if they were really military under her command, they'd be looking at court-martials. Seeing Dr. Brown's shaken expressions, she softened slightly. "I know you think you're helping, but you may have just given away our position, and told them there are a few more targets." She refused to say what the Wraith would really consider them.

"We left Dr. Hudson with a 9mil, back in the cave," interjected Dr. Parrish softly. The meaning behind his words was clear. Suicide was preferable to being part of a combo platter.

We should take up a position over there," Dr. Randall pointed out an outcropping a short distance away, where they'd have the advantage of initially being above. "I think they've spotted us."

Lt. Cadman looked at the 9mils both botanists carried. "Click the safeties off, and don't fire until you see the whites of their eyes." No one commented on her quote. The Wraith approached with almost an unnerving speed and calm, as if they knew the Lanteans were outgunned. Lt. Cadman and Dr. Randall opened fire first, emptying the last cartridges out of their P90s. Dr. Brown joined them, cursing as her first shot went wild and she learned the meaning of the expression, 'gun control is handling the recoil.' Her wrist throbbed and she cradled the barrel in both hands, chambering the next round. Dr. Parrish mimicked Lt. Cadman's stance, realizing that first person shooter video games and action movies did not provide the best weapons handling instruction.

"Honey," drawled Lt. Cadman seeing Katie's grimace, "When we get back, we're going to have a class in Gun Handling 101." She switched to her 9mil, realizing that Wraith were like tigers, the only thing worse than encountering one, is running into a wounded one. "I hate standoffs," she muttered, as she realized how quickly the Wraith had closed the distance. It looked like a bizarre version of the OK Corral. The Lanteans were slowly retreating, unfortunately there was no place to go, except the hope of breaking into a flat-out run across the rocks, and that wouldn't solve anything.

Dr. Randall swore as she tossed the empty 9mil aside. One of the Wraiths seemed to be singling her out and grinned at her in a way that would have sent shivers down a snowman's spine.

"I will delight in feeding upon you and your friends, he hissed. She told to go perform a certain sexual act. Apparently that translated across cultures as he grabbed for her with a sudden ferocity, and she tripped over a rock behind her, landing on her back at the edge of the overhang. She felt her stomach twist as he snarled down at her.

"Dulce et decorum est," she yelled, shifting the knife for one last desperate strike, knowing it was probably useless, but resolved to go out fighting. She heard a dull roar in her ears and the sounds of renewed gunfire before the Wraith fell on her. She tried to push it off, and there was no resistance as the Wraith fell over the edge.

"Lying down on the job," asked a somewhat amused Ronon Dex, as he pulled he up. A moment later, she was kneeling on the overhang studying the activity around her, as Ronon rushed back into the fight, gun drawn. Two uncloaked jumpers had landed nearby, spilling out personnel and weaponry. The air was punctuated with sounds of Wraith snarls and machine gun fire. The cavalry had made it in time, and quickly dispatched the now- surrounded remaining wraith. After an all clear, medical personnel left the relative safety of the puddlejumper and began their preliminary exams of the combatants, setting into motion a second wave of activity.

Colonel Sheppard appeared to be congratulating a proud and relieved-looking Lt. Cadman for her handling of the situation. Rodney cradled a shaking Katie Brown in his arms. Kyte didn't think she'd ever seen him handle someone so tenderly as he stroked her back and smoothed her hair. If word of this got out, he might find himself a few more female admirers, and no one would laugh at his display at this moment. Dr. Parrish looked a little green and was being attended to by a medic, while another marine was removing enzyme sacs from the dead Wraith for Dr. Beckett's research, and in case a certain lieutenant came back. Kyte stood and looked over the edge seeing the small pool of black a long way down. She gulped suddenly, her mind and body attempting to reconcile what she had almost happened. Unfortunately, her stomach was beginning to think the easiest solution was to empty its contents. She felt a broad hand on her shoulder, and drew strength from it.

"We'll have to work on your throws," commented the Satedan. She smiled weakly, feeling the adrenalin dissipate. Off in the distance, she heard several explosions.

"Sorry McKay, no Wraith dart this year for Christmas. Must be on some sort of self-destruct," quipped Sheppard, seeing the physicist look up, regretfully. "We still need to set our own charges, prevent anyone from dialing in here again." Turning to address Lt. Cadman, he explained, "Ronon's the reason we're here. He'd heard stories about a planet where Wraith like to hunt trapped prey." Seeing her shudder and consider what might have been, "You, well, we didn't know, but it looks like everyone handled themselves pretty well. So how'd Major Lorne and Lt. Bond miss all the excitement?"

"Injured, probably critically. Carson's not in great shape, either. They're up in that cave, about a kilometer away," replied Lt. Cadman softly. Additional medical personnel and marines scurried off in the direction she indicated.

"Oh," Colonel Sheppard slowly exhaled, realizing that it had been a young lieutenant, and three civilians, two of whom were confirmed lab rats who'd decided to take on the Wraith. He guessed in a day or two, that'd this would make for interesting talk around the proverbial water cooler in the labs. And damnit, he figured Lt. Cadman and probably Dr. Randall would be notching something to mark their kills, especially in these circumstances.

TBC

A/N: Probably one more chapter. The Secret Elephant Playground is an old Far Side cartoon. Dulce et decorum est is a line from the poet Horace and is the last line of a WWI poem by Wilfred Owens. The last line is Dulce et Decorum est pro patria morti, which translates as 'It is beautiful and good to die for one's country.' I've always found it haunting, along with Hemmingway's works.


End file.
